Sunday, September 12, 2010

Get My Soon To Be Ex Spouse Back and Stop Divorce

If you made the decision to pull the plug on your marriage and are now having second thoughts, all is not lost. If you are looking for ways on how to restore the marriage and stop your divorce and you are asking yourself, "how do I restore my marriage and stop my divorce?" you will first need to forget your pride and go to your spouse and admit how wrong you were and how you acted rashly.

When you meet with your soon to be ex, explain that you regret that you acted so hastily without considering that there may be a chance that the marriage could be salvaged. Be sincere and honest when you explain that despite your actions, you do not want to be divorced from your spouse and may have simply spoken out of anger that your spouse took seriously.

This step is not easy but this is your marriage we are talking about so you need to be willing to do whatever it takes to save it and stop the divorce if that is your wish. This step may also be difficult beyond simply hurting your pride. Your spouse may have started getting used to the idea of a divorce and may have even started to accept it and thought that it is best to divorce.

Even though you may have admitted you were wrong in filing for divorce or in the beginning stages of starting divorce proceedings, you need to find out what your spouse thinks of the idea of divorce. Some marriages but not all can be saved by simply admitting how wrong you were and what a mistake you made.

If on the other hand this does not work and you are wondering desperately "how can I restore my marriage and stop my divorce?", there is a lot of work in store for you. To start of with if your spouse gives you the time of day, is to explain why you think that the marriage should be saved and why you no longer want a divorce. Your reasons need to be compelling and hopefully you put a lot of thought into them.

It is crucial that you remain calm and be mature about this. Divorce and the idea of divorce, even separation, is very emotional and painful and tempers a likely to rise. It may not be easy to control your emotions and you may need several tries after calming down. It is easy to start yelling or getting hysterical which only hurts the goal of restoring the marriage and stopping divorce.

When you point fingers or play the blame game, scream or accuse your spouse, you will only end up pushing your husband or wife away. All anger, bitterness and resentment needs to be let go. Learn how to forgive and ask for forgiveness for the mistakes that you made or that your husband or wife made so that you can move forward and are able to restore the marriage and stop the divorce proceedings.

Be willing to see your role in the break down of the relationship and not point fingers. One of the first things that you both need to decide on is that things have to change and you cannot simply go back to the way things were otherwise you would not be thinking about getting a divorce.

You both have to be willing to work on your issues in the marriage. Marriage counseling may be a step that you both can consider. For the marriage to be restored and work, it takes two and both need to be on the same page.
These are a few of the steps outlined in the bestselling "The Magic of Making Up" that you can check out below for additional help and tips to help you answer the question "How do I get my soon to be ex spouse back and stop divorce?"